Invasion of The Tooth Snatchers
I wake in Budapest at a gorgeous hotel and take a taxi to Vitaleurope the dentists. The customer service is second to none. Not just friendly but attentive. Not just attentive but professional and not just professional but honest. The entire dental process at vitaleurope is transparent and without add-ons or sales tricks. The clinic is stylish large and obviously clean with an efficient attentive relaxed work force. Or so it seems. Remain calm Lemn. Everything may be perfect.
I am led into a room were 27 year old Anita stands. We smile at each other and make jokes for the next hour while Anita, who obviously loves her job which is good, scratches s away at my teeth to get them basically clean and ready for the main work. The equipment is state of the art. But pain has an age old tradition of hurting.
Peter the dentist walks in. He has less humour but a more serious job. I notice that when talking to Anita in Hungarian he has humour. I consider this while he is sticking needles thesize of Big Ben into my tender already screaming gums. Peter had a job to do and got on with it punctuating his excavations with “rinse please”.
And the more pain I felt the more irritating and the monotone “rinse please” became. I considered what I would like, a funny dentist or a good denitist - the latter ofcourse. Maybe both, a funny and a good dentist. But if he was too funny I would wonder what he was hiding. Sometimes I am funny and people wonder what I am hiding, especially on stage. And all i want to say is it’s no biggie. I am good at what I do too.
Before I know it the tooth tunnelling is over. Three hours have passed and I am traumatised and tired. I am also toothless to the left upper and the right upper back end of my teeth. I am not in pain through any wrong doing but through THE INVASION OF THE TOOTH SNATCHERS. I leave the dentist wounded and in shock. back at the hotel the numbness is interesting and akward. I go for a swim to destract myself. Not a good idea. As the numbness wained later the pain crept in wiht the night .. It was like Dracula coming out the moment the sun goes down.
“Mwaaahahhahahaha I am Pain and I’m gonna make you suffer sucky liiiidddle poet man”
Come back numbness all is forgiven . The word Pain is too few syllables for too horrific an experience. I was in throbbing excruciating AGONY . Three syllables in five letters. I “ouch” laid “ouch” my head “ouch” on the “eek” Pillow..”yowzer” and as it subsided late late in the night I slept like a maybe.